seksleven moeders

Beeld: Canva

Tussen de Lakens met Hanna (30): “Lig tegenwoordig liever onder dan bovenop”

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In Tussen de Lakens praten moeders zonder filter over hun seksleven. Over verlangen en vermoeidheid, onzekerheden na een bevalling en die momenten die nét iets te dicht bij betrapt worden komen. Deze week vertelt Hanna (30) hoe haar seksleven eruitziet sinds ze moeder is geworden.

De naam is gefingeerd. Deze moeder deed anoniem mee aan onze enquête.

Ons gezin

Hanna is moeder en samen met haar partner bezig voor een tweede kind. Spannend, maar ook minder spontaan: “Je seksleven wordt daar niet beter op. Je bent toch meer aan het rekenen dan genieten.” Het moederschap heeft haar kijk op haar lichaam en intimiteit veranderd, al voelt ze zich nog vaak sexy. “Maar gemak wint het soms van passie.”

Hoe zou je je seksleven een cijfer geven?

Voor ze kinderen kreeg, gaf Hanna haar seksleven een 8. Nu is dat een 7. “Prima, maar anders.” Seks is belangrijk voor haar in een relatie; ze geeft dat een 9. Gemiddeld hebben zij zo’n 7 à 8 keer per maand seks en daar is ze tevreden over. Wat ze zou veranderen? “Niet zozeer de seks zelf, maar alles eromheen. Je hoofd is gewoon voller.”

Intimiteit

De grootste verandering sinds Hanna moeder is geworden, zit ’m vooral in haar lijf. “Ik lig liever onder dan bovenop tegenwoordig. Niet uit schaamte, meer uit gemak. Mijn buikspieren zijn gewoon minder sterk dan vroeger.” En ja, een smoesje verzinnen gebeurt ook weleens. “Ik ben moe. Classic.”

Fantasieën zijn er nog steeds. “Seks in een hut op een veerboot lijkt me wel wat.” Maar ook in het dagelijkse leven proberen ze het spannend te houden “Opwindende appjes overdag helpen. En na een lange werkdag veel knuffelen en zoenen. Dan komt de rest vaak vanzelf.”

“De eerste keer nam hij alle tijd om te voelen hoe ik intimiteit ervaarde en wat ik wel en niet wilde. Dat vond ik heel fijn”

Hanna

Romantisch

De meest bijzondere verrassing kreeg Hanna vlak na haar bevalling. “De eerste keer nam hij alle tijd om te voelen hoe ik intimiteit ervaarde en wat ik wel en niet wilde. Dat vond ik heel fijn.”

Haar ideale date night is simpel: “Een hapje en een drankje, daarna samen op de bank kruipen. Veel zoenen en aanraken. Dat hij vervolgens het initiatief neemt en mij uitgebreid verwent als voorspel. En daarna samen in slaap vallen, veilig in zijn armen.”

seksleven als moeder
Lees ook

Tussen de Lakens met Fleur: “Soms ben ik onzeker en neem ik niet de eerste stap”

Het ultieme advies

Als Hanna één tip mag geven aan andere moeders over seks na kinderen, dan is het deze: “Geef het de tijd en vul niet voor hem in hoe hij naar jouw lichaam en de intimiteit kijkt. Dat merk je vanzelf. En als hij echt van je houdt, is dat gevoel positief gebleven.”

Wil je ook meedoen? Vul dan hier de enquête in!

Marieke Melissen

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