
Beeld: Canva
Tussen de Lakens met Rosie (38): “Sinds ik moeder ben, fantaseer ik juist over dingen die eigenlijk niet kunnen”
Mama zijn is zwaar. Seks hebben? Dat is een apart level. Kinderen, een druk huishouden en een lijf dat nooit meer hetzelfde is… klinkt bekend? Tijd om eerlijk te zijn: ja, je mist soms die sexy vibes van vroeger, en ja, dat merk je in bed. In Tussen de Lakens praten moeders zonder filter over alles wat er onder de lakens gebeurt: de gênante momenten, de stiekeme fantasieën én de momenten dat het wél geweldig voelt.
Deze week: Rosie* (38). Ze woont samen met haar partner Joris en hun twee kinderen van vijf en acht. Hun relatie is warm en stabiel, maar Rosie merkt dat haar fantasieën de laatste jaren een andere kant op zijn gegaan. Niet braver…

Ik hoef niet meer braaf te zijn. Niet meer aantrekkelijk volgens een plaatje
Rose (38)
Mijn lijf is veranderd, mijn hoofd werd vrijer
Na de zwangerschap voelde Rosie zich haar lijf kwijt. “Alles was zachter, losser, anders. In het begin vond ik dat confronterend.” Maar ergens kantelde dat. “Doordat mijn lichaam niet meer ‘perfect’ hoefde te zijn, durfde ik in mijn hoofd juist meer los te laten. Ik hoef niet meer braaf te zijn. Niet meer aantrekkelijk volgens een plaatje. Dat gaf ruimte.”
Seks is minder vaak, maar intenser
Waar seks vroeger vanzelfsprekend was, is het nu bewuster. “We doen het minder vaak, maar als we het doen, is het gretiger. Minder voorspelbaar.” Rosie merkte dat ze zelf ook meer durfde te sturen. “Ik weet beter wat ik wil. En ik durf dat te zeggen.”
Dat betekent niet dat alles altijd zinderend is. “Soms zijn we gewoon moe. Soms is het snel. Maar soms… dan is het echt raak.”

Gewoon het idee dat iemand me wil op een moment dat het eigenlijk niet uitkomt
Rose (38)
Mijn stoutste fantasie speelt zich niet in bed af
Rosie’s fantasieën zijn duidelijk veranderd. “Vroeger dacht ik aan romantische seks. Nu aan plekken.” Een pashokje. Een lege parkeergarage. “Of gewoon het idee dat iemand me wil op een moment dat het eigenlijk niet uitkomt.”
Ze voegt eraan toe: “Ik hoef het niet per se te doen. Het idee alleen al is soms genoeg.”
Schuldgevoel hoort er blijkbaar bij
Toch is er soms ook twijfel. “Mag dit wel? Ik ben moeder. Ik heb verantwoordelijkheid.” Maar Rosie weigert zichzelf klein te houden. “Mijn verlangens maken mij geen slechte moeder. Ze maken me een vrouw.”
En misschien zelfs een leukere partner. “Ik ben meer aanwezig. Minder geremd.”
Tussen de Lakens met Kai (39): “We houden beide van experimenteren en proberen dus ook zo nu en dan iets nieuws”
Wat ik nu weet
Moederschap heeft Rosie niet tammer gemaakt, maar eerlijker. “Ik durf toe te geven dat ik meer wil voelen. Meer spanning, meer lust.” En dat hoeft niet ten koste te gaan van haar gezin. “Het mag ernaast bestaan.”
De naam *Rosie is gefingeerd.
PRAAT MEE MET ANDERE Mama’s in de community
Kom in contact met (aanstaande) ouders, word lid van een geboorteclub en blijf op de hoogte van de ontwikkeling van je kind.
Opgebiecht: “Ik vertrouw mijn ex niet met de kinderen en dat vreet aan me”
Deze hobby past (verdacht goed) bij jouw sterrenbeeld, mama
Opgebiecht: mijn buren sturen wéér een appje over mijn kinderen en dit keer knapte er iets
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