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Miezemuisje: “Ons mannetje op de NICU – Deel 1”

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“Daar zijn we dan. Na er meermaals over nagedacht te hebben ga ik het nu gewoon doen. Het van me afschrijven gaat me zeker helpen, maar is ook weer erg confronterend. Maar dit is goed.

Deze blog gaat over ons mooie zoontje Tchavo, die afgelopen 16 december geboren is.
Het is een lang verhaal, maar ik neem jullie mee in de weg naar ons zoontje toe, maar ook naar het begin en nu van onze dochter.

Laat ik bij het begin beginnen. We hebben al een prachtige dochter. Mera is 4 jaar en een heerlijk ondernemend meisje, maar ook zij kwam er niet op de makkelijke manier.

Toen wij in 2018/2019 besloten onze kinderwens te vervullen, hebben er helaas heftige miskramen plaatsgevonden. In december 2020, om precies te zijn op 5 december, had ik weer een positieve test in mijn handen. Vol ongeloof belde ik mijn man Silvan. Ik moest heel hard huilen, want wat als dit kleintje weer weg zou vallen? Gelukkig waren alle controles goed en kregen wij op 4 augustus 2021 een prachtige dochter.

Helaas liep het met mij na de keizersnede bijna fataal af. Ik had interne bloedingen en er waren verschillende aders niet goed dichtgemaakt, waardoor ik binnen 24 uur bijna 2 liter bloed in mijn buik had zitten. In eerste instantie werd dit afgewimpeld met: “Nee hoor mevrouw, dit zijn de zenuwen, dit is de adrenaline die eruit komt.”

Mera kon ik niet vasthouden vanwege de stuiptrekkingen. Uiteindelijk kwamen de artsen en verpleegkundigen de kamer de volgende ochtend binnenstormen met de mededeling dat ik met spoed geopereerd moest worden vanwege de bloedingen. Silvan sliep nog en Mera werd in zijn handen gedrukt. Met weinig woorden werd ik weggereden met de mededeling: ze moet nu geopereerd worden, anders redt ze het niet.

Daar sta je dan als kersverse papa, vol onmacht, met je pasgeboren dochter.

De operatie is goed gegaan. De bloedingen zijn gevonden en gestopt en het was een kwestie van herstellen. Vier maanden na de keizersnede bleef ik ontzettend veel pijn houden. Ik kon bijna niet naar buiten en kreeg bij elke inspanning later veel pijnaanvallen. Ik kon geen kleding verdragen die te strak zat en geen aanrakingen op mijn buik.

Ik dacht dat ik gek werd. De huisarts bleef me afwimpelen met: “Nee mevrouw, 9 maanden op en 9 maanden af. Je bent gewoon aan het ontzwangeren, dat hoort erbij.” Vol ongeloof heb ik daar gestaan. Ontzwangeren zijn namelijk je hormonen, niet constant in pijn zitten, toch?

Ik voelde me voor gek verklaard en heb de 9 maanden afgewacht.

Weer een afspraak bij de huisarts en nu kreeg ik wel een goede. Die hoorde de ernst: het feit dat ik als kersverse mama bijna niks kan, dan zit er iets niet goed.

Ik kreeg een verwijzing naar de gynaecoloog. Gelukkig was er op dat gebied niks mis. Alles was schoon, alles was goed. Dat was een opluchting, maar waar komt de pijn dan wel vandaan?

De volgende afspraak was met de chirurg die mij destijds heeft geopereerd. Controles gehad, aangegeven waar het pijn doet en dat ik zenuwpijn heb, en dan word je weggestuurd met de mededeling: “Mevrouw, het zal wel tussen uw oren zitten, maar omdat u het wilt doen we wel een CT-scan.”

Ondertussen zaten Silvan en ik vol verbazing te luisteren naar wat zij tegen ons zei. Op dat moment klapten we allebei ook helemaal dicht.

De CT-scan werd ingepland en ook gedaan. Hier kwam helaas niks uit. Op zo’n moment ga je ontzettend aan je eigen lichaam twijfelen, want waarom vinden ze niks?

Ondertussen was Mera alweer een jaar oud en dan kun je niet de mama zijn die je wilt zijn. Wat heb ik me rot gevoeld tegenover haar.

Na meerdere echo’s, een CT-scan, een MRI-scan en alle controles werd ik doorgestuurd naar de pijnpoli. Ik heb meerdere misdiagnoses gehad en uiteindelijk kwam er ACNES uit. Dit is zenuwpijn in de buikwand.

Na ongeveer anderhalf jaar, met verdeeld meer dan 50 prikken in mijn buik en in mijn rug, PRF-behandelingen en zelfs een operatie, vonden ze in Harderwijk dat ik was uitbehandeld. Ze konden niks meer doen.

Ik heb het er niet bij laten zitten en een second opinion aangevraagd in Zwolle. En hier werd ik gehoord.

Volgende keer meer, nu eerst even met mijn baby knuffelen.”

Dit is een verhaal van Miezemuisje

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