Beeld: Tiffany
Op haar vijftiende verloor Tiffany haar vader: “Hij voelde als mijn beste vriend”
Het overlijden van een naaste overkomt altijd een ander. Toch? Dat is wat ik zelf altijd dacht, tot ik op 15-jarige leeftijd ermee werd geconfronteerd dat dit helaas niet klopt.
Het was 3 december 2007. Ik werd die ochtend door mijn vader naar school gebracht, omdat ik van suiker ben. Het regende en ik wilde niet nat worden. Na school liep ik naar mijn bijbaantje en om 18:00 uur zou hij me dan daar weer ophalen. Om 16:00 uur liet ik uit het niets ineens m’n kop thee vallen, geen idee waarom, en een half uur later stond ineens mijn nicht in tranen in de winkel om mij op te halen. Waarom? Dat mocht ze me niet vertellen.
Onderweg naar huis kreeg ik al snel het gevoel dat er iets gebeurd moest zijn met een van mijn ouders. Het ene moment wist ik zeker dat het mijn vader was, het andere moment moest het wel mijn moeder zijn. Eenmaal thuis kreeg ik te horen dat het om mijn vader ging.
Mijn vader en ik waren als vier handen op één buik. Waar hij was, daar was ik. Voor mij voelde hij echt als mijn beste vriend, hem verliezen was op dat moment het ergste wat ik ooit had meegemaakt.
“Hem verliezen was op dat moment het ergste wat ik ooit had meegemaakt”
Vanaf dat moment gaat alles lopen, er moet van alles geregeld worden. Hoe gaat de uitvaart eruitzien? Welke muziek wordt er gedraaid? Wie gaat er spreken? Wie nodigen we uit? Welke kaarten kiezen we, welke kist? Ondanks dat ik 15 was, vroeg de uitvaartverzorger van Monuta constant naar mijn mening. Ik heb dat zo gewaardeerd, die persoonlijke aandacht. Hij zei namelijk dat ik als dochter andere inzichten over mijn vader had dan mijn moeder.
Mijn vader was altijd heel duidelijk in zijn wensen en sprak daar ook geregeld over: als hij kwam te overlijden dan wilde hij gecremeerd worden en naast zijn moeder komen te staan. De uitvaart moest simpel zijn, geen poespas, zo was hij zelf namelijk ook niet. Er was altijd één nummer dat zeker gedraaid moest worden: Always van Bon Jovi.
“Ondanks dat ik 15 was, vroeg de medewerker van Monuta constant naar mijn mening. Ik heb dat zo gewaardeerd”
Zijn overlijden heeft ervoor gezorgd dat ik zelf ook heel jong al wist dat ik mijn wensen op papier moest zetten en ook op tijd ervoor moest zorgen dat ik een verzekering bij Monuta moest afsluiten. Online heb ik ook mijn wensen aangegeven waar ik nu heel zeker van ben, zodat ik mijn nabestaanden niet achterlaat met vragen. Ook met mensen om me heen, waaronder mijn partner, heb ik erover gesproken om te zorgen dat er een uitvaartverzekering is en dat we onze wensen hebben besproken.
Een uitvaartverzekering regel je al voor een laag bedrag, soms nog geen 10 euro per maand en je ongeboren kinderen zijn vanaf de 20e zwangerschapsweek en vanaf de geboorte gratis meeverzekerd tot hun 18e. Zorg alsjeblieft dat je dit regelt; wil je het niet voor jezelf, doe het dan voor je naasten. Ontzie de mensen om je heen op één van de moeilijkste momenten.
Ik gun dit niemand, maar ik ben wel blij dat ik het niet alleen hoefde te dragen. Dankzij de mensen om ons heen en dankzij de uitvaartverzorger van Monuta.
Heb jij het financieel al geregeld?
Steeds meer mensen zijn open over hun afscheid. Misschien heb je weleens nagedacht over wat voor afscheid er bij jou past als persoon. Maar heb je ook nagedacht over de kosten? Niet alleen voor jezelf, maar ook voor het gezin.
Met de Monuta Uitvaartverzekering zijn kinderen gratis meeverzekerd, al vanaf 20 weken zwangerschap. Als je kind 18 wordt, kan hij zelf een verzekering afsluiten. Tot die tijd is alles geregeld op jouw polis. Dat biedt een hoop financiële rust en zekerheid.
Dit artikel is geschreven in samenwerking met Monuta
PRAAT MEE MET ANDERE Mama’s in de community
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